on faith

Today, I ran smack-dab into my heavenly Father, caring for me and loving me through His Word. 
Psalm 27 was the passage that I read,  thankful for these words written by a kindred heart so long ago.   Today was a day that I needed reassured.  Reminded.   Coddled.  The child-like ease of faith not so readily available.  A season of doubting has crept into my head, and I'm fighting like heck to keep my heart out of the battle.  I know Who I believe in, but sometimes knowledge and reality colide in the perfect storm of  treacherous questions and suffocating fear.  I'm so glad that God understands these fears and anxieties, tolerates my inability to accept His grace as readily as I did in yesteryear.  And so,  I pursue truth. I am chasing it down as one running towards the finish line, gaining ground with each pound of the shoe.  I am running with purpose and desire, ignoring my fatigue and half-filled glass attitudes.  I am plugging my ears to voices that intend to harm and maim, disable and accuse.  Linking up with fellow runners desperate to be encourged and cheered forward.  My journey has found me here.  Right here - good coupled with bad, happy conquering sad, stepping slowly in places where I used to sprint.  Just a season along my travels.  I don't intend to stay for long here.  My itinerary points towards more joyful surroundings.  Until then,  like the psalmist David, I say by faith...

"I am still confident of ths:

I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

Wait for the Lord; Be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."

     

Little Blessings

Yesterday, my mom and I were talking about paying attention to the ways that God blesses us, in spite of when our circumstances seem less than ideal.  I woke up this morning, determined in my heart to be intentional about this goal all day long.  One of the ways that God blessed me today was through the sunrise.  It was perfect, it was pink and it was beautiful.  Another blessing happened upon me through my Michael.  Twice this week he has brought home art projects with his Bible verse of the week on it.  The verse is Psalm 145: 13  "The Lord is faithful to all His promises and loving toward all He has made".  Both times when Michael handed me his creation of the day, complete with a rainbow, an ark, and animals (both cracker and drawn)  I stopped and read the verse that was written under the rainbow.  How I have needed this verse.  God gave it to me twice this week.  Keep trusting.  The third blessing for the afternoon was that Marky didn't even HAVE homework today.  What a gift from the LORD.  I was stressing out over a situation regarding her homework and her youth group this evening, and God took care of it for me by making it so she didn't even have any homework.

"Praise you, my God, for your many blessings.  both big and little.  Forgive me when I overlook the little things."  

I'm lying in bed on fresly laundered sheets, dried in the fall breeze that graced the back yard this afternoon. Michael is right beside me, his steady breathing reminding me of when I rocked him to sleep as an infant and he would sigh deeply every few minutes. The girls are snugged in bed, 2 sharing a top bunk, the third in her own bed. It's been a great day. Parts of it felt like fall. We've played and laughed, watched a favorite movie, talked and texted. Lots of texting. We swam and read, ate lunch outside trying to hold on to the last shreds of summer. I got a much needed hair cut and spent some much needed time with a dear friend. The weekend is quickly vanishing. Only one more day to relax and chill without the pressure of "what's next". Right now, some sleep is the next thing on the agenda. So, I leave you with a Saturday night benediction that I heard sung on Lawrence Welk on many, many, happy Saturdays of my childhood, curlers in my long wet hair footed jammies covering my toes.

"Good Night, Sleep tight, and pleasant dreams to you.

Here's a wish and a prayer that every dream comes true

And now 'til we meet again

Adios, au revoir, auf wiedersehen

Good Night!