Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Passport to... nowhere...at least for right now.

I got my passport in the mail yesterday! It was so important looking, and I feel so very much like a grownup! I felt like I was "approved" by some very official power. I wanted to start singing "Oh say can you see..." or "I'm proud to be an American". I can travel out of the USofA now... at least that was the reason that I got the passport to begin with. About a month ago, there was talk around our house of Mommy and Daddy going to Mexico at the end of January; Daddy for a conference, Mommy for, well, not a conference. I made a BEELINE to the post office for my passport. They've probably never seen anyone so desperate for one. The photo in my passport reveals someone who is tired and needs a vacation (and a haircut!). A few days ago, however, we found out that we are NOT going to Mexico. We are not going anywhere, as of right now. I am really disappointed, but will just wait and pray for God's better plan, which will be better than Mexico, I am sure. I was listening to the song "Blessed Be Your Name", and I was singing along to the words that say "You give and take away, my heart will choose to say, Lord, blessed be your name." I want that to be more than just a catchy tune with words I just sing along with. I want it to be the attitude of my heart, thankful and expectant for whatever God's blessing for us would be, rather than pouting about the blessing that I thought we should have. But for now... I will just stay home.

January


This morning, I was feeling very "januaryish". Description - gray, cloudy, blah, cold, colorless, lifeless. After a couple of cups of coffee and a very nice conversation with my sister, my spirits were revived a little and I started doing some work around the house. When I got to the kitchen, I saw some flowers that Patrick had given me in December. Miraculously, they had survived about 3 weeks, but were definitely headed to the trash today! As I carried the flowers over to the trashcan, I noticed that there were a couple of blooms still living in the vase. I "heard" those little flowers call out to me, pleading with me not to throw them out yet, that they weren't quite finished blessing me. So, I snipped off the few carnations and daisies that still had life in them and rearranged them into a cute little jar of flowers. It lifted my spirits SO much!! In the big vase, they had gotten lost in the other flowers that had died and so I was just going to throw the whole bunch out. After I separated them and gave them a new home, my January mood suddenly disappeared, and I think I might even have a slight spring in my step for the rest of the day.