Hard

Yesterday, #3 daughter came home from school, threw her hands in the air and let out an exasperated yell.  This was followed by a torrent of tears.

Caught off guard by her noise and drama (well maybe not the drama) I went to her and said "What in the world is the matter??"

She replied, "I did NOT KNOW that 3rd grade was going to be so HARD!  We have to get GRADES!!!  What if I get BAD GRADES??  I want to go back to 2nd grade where it
wasn't so hard."

After a hug and an explanation that the smiley faces and  ++ that she received on her papers in 2nd grade translated into a third grade A, she calmed down and surrendered to staying a 3rd grader.

In my spirit, I felt the nudge of God...

I think that perhaps I have thrown the same fit as Meredith, more than once and louder.

"I didn't know this was going to be this HARD!"

Clearing His Holy throat, the Lord then directs my mind to James 1:2

and I feel His hug and continue reading His explanations further along in James that trials help me mature, and strengthen my faith and teach me how to persevere...all of which help me be complete. Mercy, Lord!!! I want all of that...

I guess I'll stick with hard.

It is a candid experience being a mom and child of God all at the same time.

Day 3

Day 3 has come and gone now.

Everyone is having a wonderful time at school.

We have worn new outfits.

We have bought MORE supplies.

We have labeled and decorated 

and we have already done

some homework.  

We have ridden our bikes to school and 

we have come home hungry and tired and happy.

Most of all we have had FUN!!!!!

Marky is an 8th grader this year. She is beautiful

inside and out. 

 Maddie is starting middle school.  She is so happy to be going to school at the same as her big sister!  I'm so happy for her. She is so beautiful and creative and her individuality 

is what makes her eyes sparkle. 

 Meredith has grown so much over the summer, both in size

and character.

 Michael has grown even more!!! He is gaining confidence

and has SUCH a personality.

 Sometimes Michael forgets that Daddy is not a jungle-gym.

 This picture above  is so perfect.  Michael RUNNING across the street... he runs EVERYWHERE!

I did not know that boys did this. Maybe its not all boys and is just mine, but boy oh boy...

His favorite animal is a cheetah. He just checked out about 10 books about a cheetah.  Maybe there is a connection???

 We are blessed to be at the schools that we are at.  We are so grateful for our teachers and friends.

Meredith pondering all that she is going to learn in the 3rd grade.  

She is SO excited.  She was born for school.  

Summer Vacation 2012

Our family just returned from our summer vacation.  We took a trip and spent a week on the Oregon coast with Patrick's family.  The weather and scenery were spectacular, the food and drink most enjoyable, and the best thing of all was the fellowship among us (14 in all).  We all came from our little corner of the country to celebrate family, and it was good.  It wasn't perfection, but it was wonderful and I'm so glad that all of us went. 

Some of the highlights of our trip were:
*catching crabs out in the bay and then cooking them for supper

*climbing up a really high sand dune and the view that was at the top
*catching a starfish
*searching for starfish in the tide pools
*seeing the waterfalls
*Maddie surfing in a wet suit

*Daddy and Michael and Marky kayaking

*all of the kids sleeping in the loft
*eating delicious food that Aunt Bunny cooked and Uncle Michael caught

*looking at picture slides and laughing at our Uncles when they were babies
*lighting wish lanterns
*walks along the beach, looking for sand dollars

*sleeping in and staying up late
* rushing, rushing, rushing to the gate to catch our flight
*mommy almost not making it onto the flight

On our first day in Oregon, our rental car was broken into and my purse was stolen, along with our camera bag (the camera wasn't in it).  Everything "comforting" for vacation was in my bag...chapstick, kleenex, Advil, bandaids, etc.  Everything convenient. Things I planned to read and do, gone.  Not to mention the hassle of losing my drivers license, my credit cards, my library card, insurance cards. 

As we were dealing with the shock of what had happened, I could feel myself getting afraid.  Fear of mean people, fear of the unexpected, fear of what was going to happen next, fear that even at a beautiful waterfall we weren't protected.  I could also feel my kids watching my reaction and in order to keep THEM from being afraid, I had to switch gears.  I couldn't stop my tears, and decided that the kids didn't need protected from my disappointment, but what they did need was for me to point us in the direction of gratitude.  We started a search for things to be thankful for.  My daughter's ipad wasn't touched; the camera was around my neck and not in the camera bag; the theif didn't take any of our suitcases; I had taken my cell phone out of my purse at the last minute; my husbands computer and various other ipods were overlooked; the bag that was stolen wasn't mommy's favorite bag; most importantly of all, nobody was injured. The fear was still holding me by the throat, but not as fiercly as I watched gratitude lift our sad faces.  We switched gears and as a team, we all calmed down and moved into the action of phone calls and such, attempting to protect what we weren't even sure of.

I have had nearly a week to mull over the loss of my things and how it has affected me.  I know that there are many, many people who have much sadder, hurtful, awful things to deal with.  I also know that not having my new portable dvd player with my favorite movies to entertain me is CLEARLY as my friend Joy says, "a first world problem", but that didn't stop me from feeling disaapointed, feeling violated, feeling sad.  I sat on the beach one afternoon, praying through my feelings and trying to listen to what I was supposed to be learning from this incident.  I felt the Lord speak to my spirit about how tightly I hold onto things.  Earlier in the month, it was brought to my attention that I am extremely possessive. I'm not trying to be possessive in a negative way, I just love things and people way too deeply.  I hold on way too tightly.  I get way too affected over hurts and spend way too much time mulling over insensitive words.  I tend to have a death grip on relationships and don't give people the freedom to lose interest in "us".  I've been living with the idea that the bags that I pack and people that I know and circumstances that I'm involved with are forever.  Its time to change that.   Its time to loosen my grip and untie knots.  It's high time to pry my possessive hands off and open them up to recieve. I am praying for the wisdom and balance to love and then trust.  To not shut off desire in efforts to self-protect, but instead risk loving (less tightly) knowing that God has my heart and my life in His hands.   

We are now home from vacation and the reality of lost IDs and credit cards has steamrolled into a long to-do list.  One thing at a time - it will get done.  In the mean time, we will look at our pictures and our seashells and talk of the memories from our 2012 vacation for a very long time.