mind...full

This weekend isn't going how I thought it was going to. I wasn't expecting to be at home tonight. I was supposed to be at Beth Moore's conference up in Laramie. I wasn't expecting to be so preoccupied today. I had a chiropractor appointment and drove past the office for a mile before I realized I missed it. I wasn't expecting Marky to like the costume I put together at the last minute. She loved it. Hallelujah. I wasn't expecting to get to sit down for coffee with a friend this afternoon... because I wasn't expecting to be around this afternoon. I'm so glad to have gotten some time with her.

Some days just don't go as I expect them to. Maybe that's a good thing.

We are leaving in the morning for a 2 night, 3 day camping trip. I am glad we are leaving. I need to go. As we leave home together as a family, I hope to leave this full mind of mine at home. My heart is hurting over the pain that some people I love are experiencing. I'm burdened and I can't stop praying for them. I'm also trying to figure out how to fix the hurt, even though I know I can't. But God can, and He's a better fixer anyways. While I'm in the mountains, I'm hoping to relax and be mindful of being with my family - making memories, loving on each one of them, cherishing the moments that are slippery and will be missed if my mind is elsewhere. I am not very good at being present or "in the moment" as it is often said. My thoughts are usually fixed on yesterday or tomorrow, but I'm asking God to help me with this very thing this weekend. Even though it's not what I was expecting, I am completely convinced that it's all going just as He has planned. I'm so thankful to trust my days to Him, as well as my loved ones with Him. These next few days, my deepest desire is to see things from His perspective. Praise the Lord that He resides over it all! I want to have fun and leave my "mind fulls", my worries, my expectations all behind (along with several other things that I will INCONVENIENTLY forget to pack, I just know it - please don't let it be my pillow... remember your pillow, Heather.)

Happy Memorial Day!


Colossians 3:1-2
So if you're serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don't shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ—that's where the action is. See things from His perspective.

Worth it

I was downstairs tonight when I heard the garage door open. I figured that it was either the boogie man or Patrick - my money was on Patrick since he had called from DIA about 2 hours prior to said door opening. Neither Michael or Meredith heard it, so I said to both of them "Could you run upstairs and check on something for me?" Being the obedient children that they are (!!!) they ran right up. Meredith's daily goal is to out-do Michael in all things, so she beat him in the race up the stairs. When she got upstairs she yelled "DADDY!!!" and then turned to her pokey brother and announced Patrick's arrival. I then heard Michael say, "Oh Daddy! I'm so excited that you're home!" Now THAT is worth being gone for a few days.

A confession or two

Yesterday I hit a wall. The "I'm tired of being the mom" wall. I hit it hard. The whining, the messes, the fighting. I just didn't want to do it one more day. First confession, I was tired of my kids. That's hard to say, but it was the truth. On top of that, the house was so dirty. Months of busyness had taken it's toll on every surface and catching up seemed like an impossibility. Patrick is traveling all week, and I could see an eternal week stretching out in front of me if I didn't get some help... some relief. So I called the best reinforcement I have - my daytime babysitter, Lisa. She agreed to help me out by taking BOTH of the little ones for the day. They were SO excited to go play and I was so thankful that I fell asleep last night with a huge smile. Because my house was such a disaster, I had been contemplating hiring someone to clean it. Instead, this morning I decided that this was how I was going to spend my day. Rather than paying someone else to clean, I was going to do it! It was so much fun - REALLY!!! I put on the radio, LOUD, and cleaned like I was the maid, cleaning someone else's house. I cleaned EVERYTHING!!! Here comes confession #2 - I love bleach. I know I am not supposed to enjoy it so much, but I do. I know that the times call for me to love something organic and natural, but I can't give it up. When I purchase it at the store, I feel like I have to sneak out so that no one sees me. It just works so well!!! And it SMELLS so clean!!! I certainly got my fill of it today. Don't hate me or judge me for my confessions. It's just how some days are - you feel overwhelmed and at wits end, then God uses something small - a few hours alone - to bring you back to how good life really is. It turned out to be quite a wonderful day. The best thing was when I picked up my little ones and the big girls came home I was back to being a happy mom. I was grateful for the time away from them, the time to take care of our home, and the time to get us all back where we belong.