Tuesday, May 19, 2009

A confession or two

Yesterday I hit a wall. The "I'm tired of being the mom" wall. I hit it hard. The whining, the messes, the fighting. I just didn't want to do it one more day. First confession, I was tired of my kids. That's hard to say, but it was the truth. On top of that, the house was so dirty. Months of busyness had taken it's toll on every surface and catching up seemed like an impossibility. Patrick is traveling all week, and I could see an eternal week stretching out in front of me if I didn't get some help... some relief. So I called the best reinforcement I have - my daytime babysitter, Lisa. She agreed to help me out by taking BOTH of the little ones for the day. They were SO excited to go play and I was so thankful that I fell asleep last night with a huge smile. Because my house was such a disaster, I had been contemplating hiring someone to clean it. Instead, this morning I decided that this was how I was going to spend my day. Rather than paying someone else to clean, I was going to do it! It was so much fun - REALLY!!! I put on the radio, LOUD, and cleaned like I was the maid, cleaning someone else's house. I cleaned EVERYTHING!!! Here comes confession #2 - I love bleach. I know I am not supposed to enjoy it so much, but I do. I know that the times call for me to love something organic and natural, but I can't give it up. When I purchase it at the store, I feel like I have to sneak out so that no one sees me. It just works so well!!! And it SMELLS so clean!!! I certainly got my fill of it today. Don't hate me or judge me for my confessions. It's just how some days are - you feel overwhelmed and at wits end, then God uses something small - a few hours alone - to bring you back to how good life really is. It turned out to be quite a wonderful day. The best thing was when I picked up my little ones and the big girls came home I was back to being a happy mom. I was grateful for the time away from them, the time to take care of our home, and the time to get us all back where we belong.

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