Thursday, July 23, 2009

Pride goes before a bite

The house has been a little quieter this week. Patrick, Marky and Maddie are all 3 out of town. Those of us who are left are a little lonelier, a little sadder, a little more heartsick than we usually would be. There really is no place like home, but the truth is that there is no place like home WHEN EVERYONE IS HOME. I have found myself trying to find reasons NOT to be home because the quiet is starting to get to me... even Meredith, who is a typical little sister and tends to tussle with anyone who will tussle back, has asked several times when her sisters are going to be home. We've had a nice week, it's just been different. Usually during these times that the big girls are absent, I try very hard to appreciate who IS home rather than spend the whole time focused on who ISN'T home. Tonight was no exception in that I was going to show myself and whomever was watching (NO ONE!) what a fantastic mama I could be; that in spite of how much I miss everyone else I can carry on. I was determined, and full of stinky pride... in myself... There is just nothing yuckier than to be the only one applauding your efforts. PEEYOO!! Typically, I do not read bedtime stories to my kids. I know... I'm sure they are missing out on something great because of that, but the more important is thing that they are missing out on the impatience that tends to flow freely from me after about 8:30 pm. When Daddy is home, they get bedtime stories, but when it's just me, we read stories during the nice-mommy hours, aka 8-8. But tonight, I was feeling so proud of my mothering skills and just thought I would strut my little stuff out in the backyard and the 3 of us would read bedtime stories in the hammock. I think the whole time I was thinking about what a good mom I was, treating my kids to such a yummy mommy, the Lord was working up a big, itchy, lesson for me. We noticed a few mosquitos were out, and so I wrapped the little ones up in a blanket and we started to read. I felt a nip on my ankle and asked for a corner of one of the kids' blanket. They obliged and soon we were all 3 under the blankies, except for the fact that I had forgotten to tend to my backside... which is now covered - I MEAN COVERED - with mosquito bites. I probably have 50 bites on the backs of my legs. All of the pats on the back that I was giving myself about the great mom I was being were QUICKLY numbed by the incredible itching on my backside... I am really thankful that God used a little mosquito instead of a 2X4 on my bottom because I sure deserved the latter for all of that mama-haughtiness. Daily I have to remind myself that I am a good mom because of who I am, not because of what I do. The kids probably prefer the "being-me" to the "doing-me". She doesn't have to try so hard. So now that I have asked God to bathe me in forgiveness, I will go bathe myself in Calamine lotion and beg Him for a merciful and humble nights sleep. Sigh...

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