It all started with a small basket of laundry that I was routinely putting away.
I reached down while at the same time reaching over and *BAM*, a shock of pain shot horizontal across my back and shoulders.  OWWIE!!!!  It was so painful that I couldn't breathe.  Fast forward several hours of heat and resting and stretching, and I thought I was all fixed up.  Not so fast there missy... Since Saturday, I have had so much pain and I knew that I needed to get it figured out before we left on our vacation.   Today I went to the chiropractor who gave me the news that I had popped a rib out of place.  Are you kidding?? Putting away laundry?  That's something I do nearly everyday!?   The chiropractor actually wanted to see me twice today since we are leaving in the morning.  He helped me SO much, I wanted to kiss the man. (I didn't...)  But isn't it just so interesting that one can get injured just going about the regular business of life.  It wasn't like I was doing anything strenuous or adventurous or crazy... Tonight, I am so grateful for the kind chiropractor who took care of me.  I can still feel the tightness, which he said was normal, but the pain has greatly subsided.

We are going on a short trip tomorrow.  Our destination is St. George, UTAH to go play in Zion National Park.  We are sort of like groupies of National Parks.  Any chance we can go and get a stamp in our National Park passport book, we do.  I'm so excited for the trip!!  The kids can hardly wait.  Molly, the doggy, is the only one not wagging her tail.  She understands what the suitcases mean, and even though she will have a nice friend stay here at the house with her, she still doesn't like to be without her main man - Michael.

So have you updated your Apple device with the latest IOS??? DONT!!!!  Its a royal pain in the BEHIND.  Nothing will work like it worked before.  I'm not one who likes a lot of change, so had I known that I would have to not only CHANGE but then I would have to figure it OUT.... Oh BOY - Its not been fun, and honestly, I still don't know if I have figured out all of the bugs.

And speaking of not liking change... I've actually been wanting to shake things up a teeny tiny bit in my world, and a great opportunity has come around.  I did a fitness challenge that I came across through social media, and the on-line coach that I had was just awesome.  She was a motivator and encourager and someone to ask questions of and bounce ideas off of.  It seemed like a "job" that I would find fun, motivating people and helping people... so I have talked with her about possibly working for her and doing what she does, Fitness Coaching (which is a lot of just encouraging people to be their best!).  We shall see where this takes me... I am TERRIFIED to do something like this.  Which might just be the reason to do it!!!

My small group Bible Study is doing Angela Thomas' new study, "Stronger".  It is SO wonderful, as I knew it would be. But even better than wonderful, it is very timely for me right now.  So many places in my life I want to be stronger. Not just better, but Stronger.  I am loving it.
My verse for right now is
Phil 4:13 - I love the Amplified version
"I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me (I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into me; I am self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency)."

Turning in for the night. Time for a heating pad and my book.

Thanks for reading... those of you who do :).

Over the past few weeks, I have been a part of the audience of 2 different groups of people. 

400 or more "like-minded" folks filled both places, listening to speeches from people up front. 

Both talks had the variations on the themes of divorce, being a single parent , re-marriage and all that goes along with that. 

In one of those places, I was made to feel condemned, ashamed, 

less-than, and not-as-good-as.

In the other place, I was encouraged, uplifted,

as-good-as, and applauded as a survivor.

One of these "talks" lead me (and my oldest girls) to feel badly about ourselves.  The other "talk"has motivated me to get involved with this organization  .

I am so excited about what this group stands for and for any small part I can play

in affirming the efforts and supporting the lives of single parents 

and divorced people.

13 years ago, I became a single mother.  It wasn't a choice that I would have made on my own. It wasn't a situation that I thought that I would have ever been in. 

However, the few years that I was a single parent turned out to be some of the best moments of  blessing for me.  It was a place of receiving, a place of tenderness between me and my Lord. 

It wasn't a final stop on my mothering journey, but it was a rest-stop where I learned about God's Grace and Mercy, and now I want to give all of what I learned to others.  

 Every single day, God showered  my oldest daughters

and I with His extravagant love and provision.

Nobody should be without that. 

As one of my favorite authors, Glennon Melton, says... "A broken heart is not the end of anything. It’s the beginning of everything."

This was true for me.  

And I hope that it will be true for the single parents in 

this organization.

Project self-suffiency is committed to uplifting and encouraging, not shaming, people who have been either in divorced situations 

or places where they have been abandoned or have chosen safety for themselves and their children.

Sadly, years before I was divorced and parenting my children alone, I would have

viewed single parents with eyes of judgement,  pointing fingers and placing blame.  I would have called those divorced people out, would have told them "whats what". 

I'm more ashamed to admit that this ugliness was in my heart than 

I am to ever say that I am divorced or was a single parent.  

I am really truly grateful that those eyes of judgement

and my heart of disgusting and legalistic regulations

have been completely transformed. 

 Because of God's provision for us, my years of single-parenting weren't many.

He brought the 3 of us

a wonderful husband and father that we

desperately needed.  Patrick came into our lives, loving us

and caring for us, a tiny group of pilgrims who were happy yet lonely.

Patrick and his extended family welcomed the girls and me into their

family, showing us a picture of the true grace of God.

That grace was extended over the years with the births of 

more siblings for my big girls, thus creating a family for all of us.

I am just starting to get to know Project Self Sufficiency

and I am so thrilled to know about it and get involved with it.

I commend anyone and everyone who has ever been apart of the sadness, 

the loneliness, the trauma, or the hardships of divorce/single-parenting.

Rather than judging and condemning, I hope that we

as a society will do more encouraging and supporting then 

we do judging and throwing stones. 

I want to be a part of the success story of one of these single parents. 

I want them to know love and feel supported by someone, always.

That's what Project Self Sufficiency is all about.  

Michael was born with itchy skin.  For 7 3/4 years of his little life we have treated it like excema, applying creams and lotions, antibiotics for when it got really bad.  In the back of my mind I knew that it was more than just itchy skin, but for some reason I hadn't gotten around to really figuring it out.  After a pretty difficult and itchy summer, I approached his pediatrician with the possibility that maybe Michael had a food allergy. As the pediatrician's head was nodding, I tried to ignore the little voice in my head asking me why I wanted to open up THIS can of worms...

And wormy it has been...

And so good at the same time.

Turns out, Michael DOES have a lot of sensitivities and allergies to foods... and animals... and molds and grasses.  Boy oh boy does THIS boy have food allergies.

The Tuesday before Thanksgiving, we took him to the allergy and asthma clinic to do a skin test.  Michael was a super hero as the nurse lightly punctured his skin about 40 times, then proceeded to place drops of serums with potential allergens all over Michael's back.  As she finished, she told him that he had to lay still without scratching for 15 minutes.  Are. You. Kidding. ME???  Michael has the tendency to be LOUD when he is upset.  He doesn't particularly love being messed with (later I might write about the latest dental cleaning!), and I knew this situation had "upset with being messed with" all over it.  And really, can you blame him?? We had come prepared with the IPad and a new favorite game, and the 15 minute countdown began.  And Michael was amazing.  He handled the intense itching better than I ever could have.   And the timer ticked on and on... as his back got redder and redder and the hives grew larger and larger.  It was clear to me that yes, we were dealing with a few allergies.

Once the skin test was over and the nurse put some anti-itch medicine on Michael's back, we met with the allergist to go over the initial results of the test.  His words were something like this... "Yeah, he's really allergic to a lot of things." And "Its amazing that he is 7 and you are just starting to look into this."  Yeah, I felt really great about that one.  I had tried.  Really tried to treat him over the past 7 years!  I was just walking down the wrong road.

I remember being in the doctor's office and this cloud of discouragement and absolute overwhelmedness came over me.  "I can't do this..." was my pervading thought.  Over and over... "I can't make sure that he doesn't have these allergens in his life.  He hasn't had any serious issues (other than itching head to toe - HELLO??) yet, so lets just ignore these test results and get the heck out of here."

Thus began the world of living without wheat, corn, soy, sesame, and sunflower to name a few.

This has stretched me.  I realize that it is not the end of the world, and I am so very grateful that the challenge we face every day is not life threatening.  However... for me, this is a BIG mountain to climb.

We have spent hundreds of dollars on "new foods".  I have baked tortillas and granola bars.  I have gone to multiple stores looking for one corn-free item.  I have cried in the parking lot of Sprouts, teared up in the bread aisle in frustration.  I have spent hours on the internet searching for recipes.  I have found a club of people who share Michael's allergies and more.  I have become exhausted and exhilarated  in the course of a minute.

And just when I felt that I was going to lay down and surrender to this challenge,  I felt the Lord tell my spirit... "We can do this... one meal at a time.  YOU, Heather, have to stop trying to plan for the next 15 years, and we are going to just take on the next meal ".  With this revelation, the mountain became something that I felt like I could climb.  When we first started the climb, I would wake up in the morning worrying about what I would feed Michael all day long.  Now, I only think about the meal or snack that is before us.  There isn't a lot of variety, but there is quality.  And we are climbing, climbing, climbing.

The entire family is supportive of this project.  We all are learning how to read labels, protect Michael from the things that bother him, protecting him from well-meaning people who give snacks to him.

We are going to make it.  We've got a cupboard full of "gear" (gluten free flour, corn free baking powder, etc.) and one meal at a time, we are all  climbing victoriously up this beautiful mountain in front of us.  And when it gets too much, BY FAITH, we will say to this mountain... MOVE. (Matthew 17:20)