TGIF

I am happy that it is Friday. It is also my sister Renee's birthday. Happy Birthday, dearest Renee!!

This weekend we are traveling up to Sidney, Nebraska to attend and be a part of Patrick's cousin Eric's wedding. Michael is the ringbearer and Patrick is an usher. This is a first for me to have any of the kids be involved in the wedding party. I know a little bit about what to expect with Michael. Let's be realistic - he's 2 1/2, uncooperative and his favorite phrases at the moment are "I don't want to" and " You're not the boss of me" and "NO". Yesterday he came up with a new one - "Mama, you're making me angwy". On the flip side, he can be very sweet and loving and his smile will melt your heart. I really hope that this is the little guy that shows up at the wedding. Either way, I am going to try to go with the flow. (not my best characteristic...) He has a little tuxedo including shiny black shoes that is the most adorable thing ever. Meredith has a new black and white dress that she has been DYING to wear. Truly, I can't wait to see them together all dressed up. Marky and Maddie aren't going to be able to attend the wedding with us. They have some other fun weekend plans, and we just weren't able to work it out. It will be fun to share our pictures and tell them all about the wedding experience when we reunite on Sunday afternoon.

So Friday it is... I have MUCH packing to do, so I better say goodbye. I will have pictures of and tales to tell about my ring-bearing son when I return!

Her thoughts aren't nice thoughts tonight

Tonight, I am not loving the "mama role". I want someone to step up and take over. But, for better or worse, I AM the Mama!! Tonight I am exhausted, bewildered, frustrated, tired of, lacking energy, and most of all fearful of the future. Can I do this??? Right now, my tired heart is saying no.... I can't teach my firstborn how to choose the right attitude, or my 2nd born to focus and be responsible. My 3rd born is famous for her stubborn, strong will which occasionally causes me to use words I wouldn't normally use; how do I love my only boy and help him with his "once in a while anger" issues. Sigh... it's been one of those days. One of those days that I wonder "Why would ANYONE have kids???" And then I have to remember that I was born, and that my mom and dad were patient enough to wait around for me to grow up (thanks Mom and Dad!) and that now, it's my turn, to give to another human being the gift of unconditional love. So, the reason ANYONE would have kids is this...
- They challenge me to patience and self control
- They give me unconditional love
- They bless with many hugs and kisses
- They haunt me if I do the wrong thing or say the wrong thing
- They are thermometers for me for how much I am surrendering my day to the Lord
- They make me love my own mother more
- They give me purpose in this life
- They give me a reason to say thank you
- They are a part of me

So, even though it's been a long day, I will keep going on , knowing that the "testing of my faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish it's work so that I may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:3-4

Today I love...

* the school bus
* email from Adam
* smell of banana/zucchini recipe
* email from Renee
* hugs from Maddie
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* cool weather
*diet pepsi
* Psalm 61
* preschool
* "new" couch
* asters