These days, I live my life mostly for my kids. I serve them, I help them, I motivate them, I instruct them. Primarily, I love them! Fundamentally, I believe in them.
I think that until about the age of 12, kids reciprocate that belief. There is a small window of time when my kids have thought that I could move mountains. The truth of my humanity and fallibility as a mom is kept hidden from them for a time, and they mirror my faith in them. But then, one day, the curtain is pulled back revealing the truth: That I am imperfect, human, sometimes wrong, other times right. With this reveal comes the realization that I might not know exactly what I am doing.
To be fair, none of my kids came with a manual. There wasn't ever a how-to guide to refer to when I was in certain situations, facing certain challenges. And so, I sometimes wing it. I look to Scripture and books for guidance. I ask advice of others and pray to the Lord to show me the right decisions to make.
I hate feeling like I don't know what I'm doing. I strive to educate myself, to prepare myself. I observe my kiddos and learn from them. Often I get it right, but there are also times when I get it wrong; when the situation I'm in is too confusing and too difficult or the result I want isn't within my reach.
Tonight, my 10 year old gave me a point in the win column on my Mom score card. Not only did she believe in me with this note, she trusted that I had the capability of fulfilling what she wanted.
