Special

The month of November is closing.  We've kissed Thanksgiving goodbye and we've spent many moments celebrating our sweet Marky - moo.  At 13 years old, my precious first-born is such a special girl.  She is incredibly artistic.  She is beautiful.  She is courageous and intuitive. 

I love listening to her process things.  She is wise beyond 13. 

 She has fashion sense that would make Stacey and Clinton proud.

Music flows from this girl.  She loves to sing and play the piano.

Her favorite store is I-tunes.   

 Her heart expands to include others and she has such a sensitive spirit towards people that she loves. 

She loves God and delights in following Him with her heart.

 I couldn't be more proud of who Marky is.  Every day I am blessed by her presence in my life.  I absolutely enjoy her as much as I love her.  Marky introduced me to true love.   She came into my life, and I have never been the same.  My values are different, my priorities have changed.  I see so much of life differently since I became a mother when Marky was born. 

Thirteen BEAUTIFUL years is just the first layer of color on this portrait that God is painting of my lovely daughter. I am absolutely, completely in love with you, my dearest Marky. 

You are a PERFECT first pancake!!

Happy 13th Birthday to you.    

November ramblings - Try to keep up!

We are half-way through our November.  The days of late have been freezing cold with a wind that ignores your coat and makes its way straight down the front of your shirt, chilling you to the absolute bone.  I am not a fan of wind.  "I am not a fan" is Meredith's newest phrase to describe things that she doesn't like.  I guess she actually listened when I corrected her whenever she said "I hate...", so she came up with this alternative.  It's kind of funny when she says it.  I have had an aching neck that has slowed me down the last couple of days.  The pain has been intense and has forced me to take it a little easier rather than running around with both barrels loaded.  I've had a hot rice pack hanging around my neck everywhere I've gone the last few days and just so you know, you can't move very fast with one of those clinging to you.  I'm not exactly sure where I picked up this painful crick, but I'm feeling more sympathetic to people who carry constant pain around with them.  I am NOT a fan of it.  We celebrated our sweet Marky's birthday.  Thirteen and wonderful.  Thirteen and not-so-wonderful.  This is how our days go.  Up, down, back, forth.  The ride is intensely rewarding and challenging all in the same.  Every once in a while, I feel like I'm on Space Mountain... spinning in the dark.  I take one turn at a time, praying like crazy that I don't fall out of my seat, hating that I can't see what is around the next corner.  If I could see, if would probably scare the hell out of me and I would JUMP, so I close my eyes and hope, and trust, and try not to take anything too seriously.  I am not good at that.  I tend to take EVERY thing too seriously.  I care WAY too much about WAY too many things.  Can you say Control Issues????  After  sabotaging 3 cameras over the last 2 years, and being without one for the past few months (have you noticed the lack of pictures on the blog?), we purchased a REAL camera.  Now I just have to take a class to learn how to use it.  I'm really excited about what this piece of equipment can do, but man - it's not a point and shoot that's for sure!!  Thanksgiving is next week.  We have family coming from Portland to visit us over the next week and then we will go out of town to visit other family.  Having to being more still the last few days has caused me to look around.  To listen to the sounds around the house, to soak up the hugs and compassion that my kiddos have offered to their hurting mama, to appreciate all that I have been blessed with.  I'm grateful, so grateful. 

Time

I walk around my favorite store, on a typical search for treasure.  I finger a pretty sweater and enjoy its autumnal shade of orange.  I leave it neatly folded on the table, knowing with certainty that even though it is lovely, it is not what I'm looking for.  I continue to meander, gazing at trinkets and baubles.  I am a faithful lover of anything vintage, an ardent swooner over anything boasting chipped paint.  My home and closet don't have many empty spaces in them.  I only buy what I absolutely love, what jumps out and speaks to me.  Today the merchandise is quiet.   What I am shopping for isn't there.  I walk past an old table, snubbing a charming necklace, ignoring a pretty green vase, barely appreciating the thread-bared edges of a tablecloth I'm sure would look lovely with my fall centerpiece.  I see treasures from the past that  beg to share their stories.  Today I am too distracted to listen.  The alarm on my cell phone rings, reminding me of the present.  Daily responsibilities that have never gone unfulfilled.  Places I must be for little people that depend on me. I leave the store, promising to come back when I am more attentive.  I am confused by my empty arms, because typically, I leave with a treasure.  A purchase not based on price, but about value and personal taste. Today, whatever I was searching for was not to be found.

Four days later, I recall that shopping experience.  At the end of a day of to-do's and to-be's, I have one final task.  I need to change all of our clocks.  It is "DayLight Savings", and there is no choice but to comply with the directive to set the clock back one hour. An extra hour... a gift. After I finished up with resetting the microwave (I never remember how to do it!) I settle onto my bed with my book.   I read for a few minutes, and as I lounge,  a pleasant feeling covers me.  It is a  blanket of peace, the scent of contentment hanging in the air around me.  I think to myself "This is IT! This is what I was looking for on my shopping trip! "  TIME.  Minutes that are not completely filled with things that need attention or energy.  Sometimes my heart is searching for something that cannot  be purchased at my favorite store.  What I was really needing that afternoon while I was wandering around was some TIME!!  I was so grateful to drink in that extra 60 minutes last night, knowing that although most of the USA was participating in daylight savings time right along with me, it felt more like a personal gift with MY name on the box.