Yesterday, I drove up behind a small SUV. I could see that there was an infant car seat occupying the middle of the back seat. A wave of "I remember that" washed over me. I remembered the feeling of overwhelemedness that infant car-seats produced in me. The fact that I had to do everything for my babies. I also remembered the snuggly way that I could nuzzle my babies faces when they laid on their backs looking up at me. The fact that I could make my babies smile and giggle with just a tiny gesutre. I was in complete control of their lives, well mostly, and that comes with its positives and negatives for sure!! When the kiddos were super little, I never had to worry about my children running out into the street, or seeing something inappropriate on the internet. I didn't have to think about whether their grades were good, or their friends were the right ones or whether their self-esteem was rock solid. The flip side of that coin is that I also never got to have interesting conversations with my kids when they were tiny. I didn't get to see the world through their eyes, hear how they approach their relationships, what they enjoy about their teachers and friends and classes. As my kids go through stages, their mom goes through stages too. Every few months, I feel a change in the air with one or more of the kids. Its exhilarating and exciting and exhausting all at the same time. I love this gig - its really the best job in the world!!
