Pass it on

When I was a teen, I loved going to church youth group.  I spent many hours hanging out there both in junior high and in high school.  One of my favorite things that we did at youth group was sing praise and worship music.  Often, the song "Pass it on" was on the set list for the night.  The song starts off like this...

"It only takes a spark, to get a fire going.  And soon all those around will warm up to it's glowing." 

I'm not sure if I got those words exactly right... but the gist of the song was that it just takes one spark.  And then the fire starts... 

Well, this week I had a couple of sparks in my life.  And, just like the song says... Those sparks started a fire of sorts in my heart!!  These sparks came as encouragement from a couple of my favorite people.  Honest encouragement from their hearts.  I think that it was so kind of them to SPEAK their encouragement rather than just think it.  Because it wouldn't have even BEEN encouraging to me if they hadn't shared it.  That's the glowing that the song from my past is talking about.  I was able to warm up to the glowing shared by my friends. 

We should all follow the example of my kind friends, to share when we are thinking kind things and not just think the kind things.  

Pass it on.

I Corinthians 16:13-14

"Be on your guard; stand firm in your faith; be men (women) of courage; be strong. 

Do EVERYTHING in love." 

I found these verses, hidden in the pages of the New Testament, about a year ago.  I think that I was looking for  a completely different passage when my eyes landed right on these verses.  Well, HELLO THERE!!  These 2 verses smacked me upside the head.  I immediately wrote in the margin of my Bible - "Parenting Advice" because that is exactly what this was.  Patrick and I had recently been faced with a challenge from one of our kids, and we were both really seeking God's wisdom.  And then I read these verses.  God was telling us what to do.  

The times are shifting around here.  The good natured, snuggly, kissy, dependent little children that have been in my nest are being transformed into independent, stronger, more opininated, self-thinking, individuals.  I see glimpses of the adults that they will become.  Adults I have been the process of raising.  I'm so loving the conversations that I have with my older kids.  I love watching our favorite movies and shows together.  I love sharing a Starbucks with them. I love talking about the books we are reading.   I adore seeing each one of them develop their own sense of style, their own hobbies, their own loves.  I love texting with my older girls, hearing about their days, getting a sense of their moods and hearts through their words.  I love watching the kids interract with their friends.  I love hearing their opinions about stories in the news.  

BUT... 

I ALSO miss them sitting on my lap. Snuggling during a movie. Singing Veggie Tales songs.  Asking me what I think about something. I miss setting out an outfit (complete with matching hair accessories :)) for them, I miss the quiet nights at home when no one had any outside activities.  

And so... I say I miss it and then we keep moving.  Moving towards the future and all that it has in store for us.   Still doing our jobs as parents, to raise our littles to become bigs.  Doing everything in Love. Whether the kids are 5 or 16.  Whether they are aggreeable or have their own ideas.    Fighting for peace, fighting against anger, fighting for character over popularity, for living honestly rather than having things be easy. 

I have spent the last number of years, fighting for my children in so many different ways.  I have paid money to a lawyer to get time with them, I have fought with an ex-spouse in order to preserve my time with my older kids, I have battled friends whose influence I don't approve of,  I have set boundaries to the number of activities they have been involved with.  Fighting for my kids.  I really don't like the word "fighting" because it brings about feelings of negativity.  When my kids bicker (fight), I challenge them to make things right between them, to humble themselves to the other person.  But, some fights are worth having.  some fights are positive.  

Like this one in 1 Timothy 6:12a

"Fight the good fight of the faith."

My faith - a fight worth having.  I want to stand firm in my faith.

or this one in 2 Timothy 4:7

"I have fought the good fight (holding on to my faith), I have finished the race."

There is a finish line that we are headed for, fighting towards.  I used to think that the path towards the end was a straight line, start to finish.  You decide on a destination, you map out your route, and you point yourself in that direction, and then you arrive. 

Those thoughts were wrong. ;)

The finish line is a lot less clearly defined then I originally thought.  The destination can sometimes change, the map that you have can become outdated or blow away or get soggy, and sometimes when we point our-self towards a certain direction the fog might roll in so we can't see clearly or we might get jumped along the road or the terrain is much more difficult than we thought and we want to quit.  

A new stage, new times.  These things are inevitable and so exciting.  Kids change and kids grow.  Mamas and Daddys change and grow. And in order to be the mama that God calls me to be...

"I must be on my guard.  I must stand firm in my faith; I must be a woman of courage; I must be strong.  AND 

I must do EVERYTHING in love."  

I do it to myself.  Sometimes, I let comparison and self-doubt interfere with great things that I want to do.  "Why don't we have "this friend" over?", asks my sweet son.  It's his friend.  Why wouldn't we have our friends over?  How can I reveal my insecurities about the size of my house, the shame over my laminate counters, my disappointment in the condition of my floors to my innocent son.  HE doesn't care about any of these things - Why do I?  I wish that I had even a tiny amount of his innocence.  He hasn't been lied to by the magazines, by Pinterest, by himself.  For him, all that matters is that he adores his friend and that his friend adores him right back.  I wish that adoration was all that mattered to me.  I don't want to care about my floors or my counter tops.  I want to care about people.  I want to absorb myself in relationships rather than focusing on the silly external stuff.  This year, I'm going to have people in my home, remembering that it is our family and our love that makes these four walls what it is.  I want to put aside my insecurities and my concerns that I'm not good enough. I hope that this year will be full of relationships and our home will be full of love and the laughter of friends.

January 5

5 days into this new year, I'm looking for my MOJO!!  The vacation laundry has been done, the suitcases have been unpacked and I've been super productive... at least it looks like I have been!!  I don't FEEL productive.  I feel under the weather = probably because the weather is absolutely awful these days.  Cold, dreary, icy... Because of how sick everyone else got, I haven't slept much over the last few nights.  So today, I'm cold and feeling achy.  I'm hoping that tomorrow will bring new motivation and new feelings of excitement about getting back into routine.  I'm thinking about new goals and new directions all the while keeping the old balls expertly up in the air.  Schedules begin and routine will take over in the next few hours.   Tally ho - Let's go!

2015

Happy New Year!!

2015!!

I am on vacation in Texas and it is raining. As I listen to the rain, I'm wishing for a hotter and dryer place.   I don't love the rain because it keeps me from being outside, (only because I don't like getting wet).   We are enjoying being with new family and discovering what is new and great about Texas.

We've been gone from home for about 5 days.  I'm doing the first load of laundry on our trip, and we are onto the second birthday celebration.  Christmas and New Years bookend a few other celebrations in our family - Maddie's birthday, Michael's birthday.  We celebrated Maddie turning 14 and Michael turning 9.

Maddie is the most beautiful 14 year old.  She is so full of generosity and kindness.  She loves to read, she adores her friends, her room and her posts on Instagram .
She has the best taste in music, books and movies.  

Michael is celebrating turning 9 today.  What a joy my sweet boy is.  He loves soccer and football.  He loves the Broncos and Clemson.  Last night we asked him what the best thing in 2014 was, and he honestly answered "My friends".

I always have great hopes and wishes for the new year.  For 2015 I want to worry less and pray more.  To fuss less about the little things in life and place more importance on the things that really matter.  I want to "be slow to speak, quick to listen and slow to be angry."

Bless you, my friends and readers. For the moments of your time that you give me, I am appreciative.