Joy

Yesterday afternoon,  I took a time out.  It was very unlike me to do this, but afterwards I was so glad that I made that choice.  There is a battle that goes on in me every day with the opponents of "should do" and "must do".  This day, I chose to fight side by side of what I "should do", which was to sit with Michael.  I was driving home from lunch and Michael fell asleep.  He had played hard over the weekend and was exhausted.  I lifted him out of the car and carried him to my favorite spot to sit in the garden.  I rocked him and closed my own eyes, knowing that the alarm I set on my phone would wake us both up in an hour if I fell too fast asleep.  It was heavenly sitting there soaking up the autumn sun, not quite as hot as it was a month ago.  The aspens were giggling together in a slight breeze, and the mums that are blooming in the garden looked so happy.  I asked myself why I didn't do this more often?  It felt so good to sit and be still and quiet.  I'm so thankful that Mr. Should fought harder yesterday.  Often it is what I want to do, but sometimes the hollering voice of the "must dos" seems so much louder than the peaceful whisper of the "shoulds".  Priorities - choices that I have to make every day about what is most important.  Because I can feel time speeding up every minute, and the days that I can hold my baby on my lap for an hour will  soon disappear.  I am cherishing the moments I spent with him yesterday.  Ah... joy...