quiet

When a writer doesn't post a blog post for 9 months, you might suspect that they have quit writing altogether. In my case, that is partially true.  I quit publishing any written material but I haven't stopped writing.  The first few months of no blog activity was purely from being too busy.  However,   about 4 months ago, a quiet covering came over me;  A stillness and a message from the Lord - "Be quiet".  I  put words back into the Lord's mouth and thought... "oh yeah... Be still and know.. yada yada yada... And then I heard Him more clearly... "Nope that's not what I meant.  I meant BE QUIET".

This is not in my nature.  I'm a talker, I'm a verbal processor.  Being quiet, keeping quiet , STAYING QUIET is not what I'm good at.  But, I really felt like for the time it was what I was supposed to do.  Thus,  I have been practicing quiet.  The truth is, as hard as it was for me, there have been times when it has been a relief not to feel like I had to offer my opinion or my judgement or my thoughts.  I've still had them and I've written them down in my journal for my own personal processing, but its been for the Lord's and my eyes only.  It's been good for me, and now I sense I'm being released to write publicly again. 

When I named my blog "The Mama's Thoughts", my plan was to pour out my thoughts about every activity and exciting thing that was going on in our home and with the kids.  Looking back, I realize that this plan was naive and slightly silly.  It was the plan of someone who's rose colored glasses hadn't been fogged up by her own tears or cracked and smudged by blows to the face.  Who cares about a fun activity when your Mama heart is breaking?  Who even wants to read or write about the trivial events, when you can't sleep, can't hope, can't breathe?

What I do know for sure about the blog is this... I want to write.  I love to write.  I need a space to jot down my thoughts about the trivial events as well as the heartbreaks.  While honoring the privacy of my kids and family, I still want to express my thoughts through words.  It is where I find clarity.  It is where I find focus.

 "The Mama's Thoughts" might change every so slightly.  Maybe it won't even be noticeable?  But hopefully my writing will reflect more of what the Lord is teaching me through both the challenging  times and the fun times. 

Thanks for reading.