This last week has been a challenging one. Blogging has taken a back seat to many other things. One of those being, the death of a friend. He died from bacterial meningitis. There are no words to say how much we grieve for Nick's family.( http://www.coloradoan.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2010100622012 ) His wife and his unborn son have become loved ones we now pray for at dinner and before we sleep. We have cried and prayed, visited and hugged, sighed and shaken our heads in bewilderment. Silence has been the only answer to the burning question of "Why"? Patrick asked me how we explain God's decision to take Nick away to heaven to our children. My response - "How do we explain it to ourselves?" My choices are to walk in fear or walk in faith. When it's light outside, my faith is strong and the fear stays away. I try to go to sleep before the fear starts to take over.
Life can change in an instant. We've all had it happen. A phone call, an impulse decision, a wrong turn. Years ago, when drastic change was happening all around me, I had to force myself to read the Bible before I went to sleep to conquer the fearful thoughts. I find myself running there these past days. My Bible open and near, a source of comfort and peace.
We've had other stresses, not comparable to my friend Heather's loss, but places where our family has been stretched and poked. These pokes are annoying, the stretching has caused pain. However, I believe the pain will bring us to new levels of intimacy as a family, and will give us a place of rememberance that we "got through" it. A touchstone of victory; a place where we had to rely on each other and our faith in God in order to succeed. I have seen courage and wisdom in our older daughters, compassion and caring from our youngest ones. They are all so innocent and demonstrate strength in tough situations that are put before them.
Throughout these days of sadness and trials I have reminded the kids, Patrick and myself of the Lord's amazing love for us. He is faithful and strong, and He will never leave us. For that, even though we don't have the answers we want, we are so thankful.
